Lantern Fish

A Poetry and Travel Blog

Voice

I’d say that I’m cursed,
For I can’t always use my voice.
I’d say that I don’t love,
But we both know that’s not right.
Oh, I’d say it’s because of my past
That I can’t make a friendship last,
And I’d tell you I can’t care,
Tell you that’s just who I am.

I’d say that I’m weak,
Because I’ve never tried to fight.
I’d say that I’m a coward
For hiding my thoughts inside.
I’d tell you about everything that scares me,
That makes me give up,
But I could never tell you how I feel
Even if you gave me all the words.

For what would I do with those words
When I don’t know how
To say them in my voice?
What would I do with these emotions
When I don’t know how
To use them to be kind?

How can I tell you that I care
When it’s distance
That makes me feel safe?
How can I tell you I’ll be there
For you forever,
When it’s solitude that I crave?
What would I do with anything
That you give me,
When I don’t know how to care?

I wish I wouldn’t lie so much
When I speak to you
I wish I had the courage
To tell you the truth-
How I’m not afraid of all the things
I listed just to keep you away.
But I wonder if it’s even true
If my very voice is afraid of what it might say.

m.k.

M.K.

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